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Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
+3
harballah
mozzarella
bench
7 posters
Page 1 of 1
Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
Share your jokes here.
========
NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN
------------ --------- --------- ----
Reporter: Noong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know
------------ --------- --------- ---
Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung
seeds.
------------ --------- --------- -
Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu, anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin MANKY......
------------ --------- -----
Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na ako sa bote.
------------ --------- -----
Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo
pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)
------------ --------- --------- -------
Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita ang dilim!!
------------ --------- --------- ------
Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang na pupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!
Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Pacman: Judith! Judith! Judith! Judith!
Jinky: Manny, sino ba yan Judith na sinasabi mo?!?
Pacman: Eto oh, lahat ng bills natin malapit na Judith..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!
------------ --------- --------- ------
You is!' You is...! You is...!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika
Andito na ako sa you is!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi ku lang diyan ay ....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan, ... maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating ayun kadadaan lang
sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST
PASSED AWAY
========
NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN
------------ --------- --------- ----
Reporter: Noong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know
------------ --------- --------- ---
Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung
seeds.
------------ --------- --------- -
Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu, anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin MANKY......
------------ --------- -----
Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na ako sa bote.
------------ --------- -----
Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo
pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)
------------ --------- --------- -------
Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita ang dilim!!
------------ --------- --------- ------
Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang na pupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!
Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Pacman: Judith! Judith! Judith! Judith!
Jinky: Manny, sino ba yan Judith na sinasabi mo?!?
Pacman: Eto oh, lahat ng bills natin malapit na Judith..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!
------------ --------- --------- ------
You is!' You is...! You is...!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika
Andito na ako sa you is!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi ku lang diyan ay ....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan, ... maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order!
------------ --------- --------- ----
Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating ayun kadadaan lang
sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST
PASSED AWAY
bench- .
- Posts : 89
Join date : 2010-03-08
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
"3 Hunters"
may 3 hunters na nahuli ng mga cannibals sa gubat.
dinala sila sa harap ng
tribal chief para siya ang pupugot ng ulo. nagmakaawa
yung mga hunters.
naawa naman yung chief.
Chief: sige hindi namin kayo papatayin, sa isang
kondisyon. kailangan
isa-isa kayong mangolekta ng 10 pirasong prutas.
dalhin nyo iyon dito at
saka ko sasabihin ang sunod nyong gagawin.
naghiwa-hiwalay ang tatlong magkakaibigan. unang
dumating si Pedro,
dala-dala'y 10 oranges.
Chief: ngayon, ipasok mo ang lahat ng mga prutas na
iyan sa iyong puwet.
kailangan ay hindi magbabago ang mukha mo. konting
ngiwi o ngiti lang ay
pupugutan ka agad namin ng ulo.
unang orange pa lang ang pinapasok ay napa-sigaw agad
si Pedro. agad
siyang pinugutan ng ulo. sunod na dumating ay si Juan,
dala-dala'y 10
lansones. tuwang-tuwa siya ng in-explain sa kanya nung
Chief kung ano ang
kailangan nyang gawin.
Juan: sus! sisiw lang pala. kayang-kaya! buti na lang
maliit na prutas ang
kino-lekta ko.
naipasok ni Juan ang mga lansones sa kanyang puwit ng
walang problema.
ngunit nung asa pang-10 prutas na siya, bigla siyang
napatawa. pugot-ulo
agad si Chief.
pagkamatay ay napunta agad si Juan sa langit kung saan
nakita niya si
Pedro. nagkausap ang dalawa.
Pedro: sayang Juan! pinapanood kita dito sa langit
habang ginagawa mo yung
utos. isang lansones na lang hindi mo pa tiniis! buhay
ka pa sana ngayon.
ano bang nangyari sayo?
Juan: pare, ang dali-dali ngang ipasok nung mga
lansones. kaso, nung
matatapos na ako bigla kong nakita si pareng Jose --
may dala-dalang 10
langka!
mozzarella- .
- Posts : 33
Join date : 2010-07-25
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
mozzarella wrote:
"3 Hunters"
may 3 hunters na nahuli ng mga cannibals sa gubat.
dinala sila sa harap ng
tribal chief para siya ang pupugot ng ulo. nagmakaawa
yung mga hunters.
naawa naman yung chief.
Chief: sige hindi namin kayo papatayin, sa isang
kondisyon. kailangan
isa-isa kayong mangolekta ng 10 pirasong prutas.
dalhin nyo iyon dito at
saka ko sasabihin ang sunod nyong gagawin.
naghiwa-hiwalay ang tatlong magkakaibigan. unang
dumating si Pedro,
dala-dala'y 10 oranges.
Chief: ngayon, ipasok mo ang lahat ng mga prutas na
iyan sa iyong puwet.
kailangan ay hindi magbabago ang mukha mo. konting
ngiwi o ngiti lang ay
pupugutan ka agad namin ng ulo.
unang orange pa lang ang pinapasok ay napa-sigaw agad
si Pedro. agad
siyang pinugutan ng ulo. sunod na dumating ay si Juan,
dala-dala'y 10
lansones. tuwang-tuwa siya ng in-explain sa kanya nung
Chief kung ano ang
kailangan nyang gawin.
Juan: sus! sisiw lang pala. kayang-kaya! buti na lang
maliit na prutas ang
kino-lekta ko.
naipasok ni Juan ang mga lansones sa kanyang puwit ng
walang problema.
ngunit nung asa pang-10 prutas na siya, bigla siyang
napatawa. pugot-ulo
agad si Chief.
pagkamatay ay napunta agad si Juan sa langit kung saan
nakita niya si
Pedro. nagkausap ang dalawa.
Pedro: sayang Juan! pinapanood kita dito sa langit
habang ginagawa mo yung
utos. isang lansones na lang hindi mo pa tiniis! buhay
ka pa sana ngayon.
ano bang nangyari sayo?
Juan: pare, ang dali-dali ngang ipasok nung mga
lansones. kaso, nung
matatapos na ako bigla kong nakita si pareng Jose --
may dala-dalang 10
langka!
bench- .
- Posts : 89
Join date : 2010-03-08
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
Ayos ha!
Sayang wala akong naihandang joke brother bench.........iyon kay mozzarella ay nabasa ko na ang joke na iyan.
Sayang wala akong naihandang joke brother bench.........iyon kay mozzarella ay nabasa ko na ang joke na iyan.
harballah- ...
- Posts : 3016
Join date : 2010-03-24
Location : Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
Pamatay ang mga jokes ah.
miss_terry- .
- Posts : 458
Join date : 2010-07-15
Age : 33
Location : Batangas
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
Teacher:
Our topic today is about Zoology. Understand!
Class: Yes mam...
Teacher:
Anybody who can define Zoology?
Class:
Looking at different points....some in the desk, some in the ceilings, some to their classmate's hair etc. etc..
Teacher:
Anybody? (with a heavy voice somehow)
Student:
Mam (with some hesitation)
Teacher:
Ok good (carrying a smile in her face). So what can you say about Zoology?
Student:
Zoology...........is our topic today!
--- parang corny ah...
--- naintindihan mo ba ang joke?
--- hindi, di ako marunong magbasa eh.
Our topic today is about Zoology. Understand!
Class: Yes mam...
Teacher:
Anybody who can define Zoology?
Class:
Looking at different points....some in the desk, some in the ceilings, some to their classmate's hair etc. etc..
Teacher:
Anybody? (with a heavy voice somehow)
Student:
Mam (with some hesitation)
Teacher:
Ok good (carrying a smile in her face). So what can you say about Zoology?
Student:
Zoology...........is our topic today!
--- parang corny ah...
--- naintindihan mo ba ang joke?
--- hindi, di ako marunong magbasa eh.
fredms3- .
- Posts : 982
Join date : 2010-07-22
Comb@tron- ..
- Posts : 365
Join date : 2010-07-28
Location : Planet Vegeta
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
Comb@tron wrote:pwede!
Lolsss...pwede na ba yang Zoology ha Combat o baka iba ang sinasabi mong pwede.
fredms3- .
- Posts : 982
Join date : 2010-07-22
Dagohoy
DAGOHOY. GOOD LUCK READING THIS.
ENJOY.
DAGOHOY
It was the first day of school in Washington , DC and a new student named Dagohoy, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher began, "Let's review some American history, class. Who said Give me liberty or give me death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Dagohoy's who had his hand up,"Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good," said the teacher.
"Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, and for the people's hall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Dagohoy:
"Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg , 1863," he said.
The teacher snaps at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed, Dagohoy who is new to our country knows more about our history than you do"
She hears a loud whisper from the back: "Screw the Filipinos." "Who said that?" she demanded.
Dagohoy put his hand up. "General John Pershing, Manila , 1896."
At that point, Jack, another student says, "I'm going to puke."
The teacher glares and asks, "All right! Now who said that?"
Again Dagohoy answers, "George Bush, Sr. to the Japanese Prime Minister during the state dinner, Tokyo , 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!! "Dagohoy jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher at the top of his voice,
"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, the Oval Office,1997!!"
Someone shouts, "You little shit if you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Dagohoy yells, "Congressman Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, Washington , D.C. , 2001!"
The teacher faints. "I'm outta here!" mutters one student as he sidles to the door."President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Baguio City ,December 30, 2002!!" Dagohoy responds.
As the class gathers around her on the floor, someone says, "Oh shit,now we're really in big trouble!"
"Saddam Hussein, on the Iraq invasion, Baghdad , May 2003!" Dagohoy bellowed.
"Now, I really have to run," Jack mutters, heading for the exit.,"Gloria Macapagal Arroyo again, Pampanga, October 4, 2003!!!"
Dagohoy shouts triumphantly jumping with glee.
Then a burly African-American boy grabbed Dagohoy and strangled him, about to give a fistful to a frightened Dagohoy.
Then an Asian boy stood up and shouted, "Hey easy on him. I'M A FILIPINO!"
Dagohoy then blurted out before he got socked out, "Fernando Poe, Jr. Manila , January 2004!!!"
ENJOY.
DAGOHOY
It was the first day of school in Washington , DC and a new student named Dagohoy, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher began, "Let's review some American history, class. Who said Give me liberty or give me death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Dagohoy's who had his hand up,"Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good," said the teacher.
"Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, and for the people's hall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Dagohoy:
"Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg , 1863," he said.
The teacher snaps at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed, Dagohoy who is new to our country knows more about our history than you do"
She hears a loud whisper from the back: "Screw the Filipinos." "Who said that?" she demanded.
Dagohoy put his hand up. "General John Pershing, Manila , 1896."
At that point, Jack, another student says, "I'm going to puke."
The teacher glares and asks, "All right! Now who said that?"
Again Dagohoy answers, "George Bush, Sr. to the Japanese Prime Minister during the state dinner, Tokyo , 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!! "Dagohoy jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher at the top of his voice,
"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, the Oval Office,1997!!"
Someone shouts, "You little shit if you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Dagohoy yells, "Congressman Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, Washington , D.C. , 2001!"
The teacher faints. "I'm outta here!" mutters one student as he sidles to the door."President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Baguio City ,December 30, 2002!!" Dagohoy responds.
As the class gathers around her on the floor, someone says, "Oh shit,now we're really in big trouble!"
"Saddam Hussein, on the Iraq invasion, Baghdad , May 2003!" Dagohoy bellowed.
"Now, I really have to run," Jack mutters, heading for the exit.,"Gloria Macapagal Arroyo again, Pampanga, October 4, 2003!!!"
Dagohoy shouts triumphantly jumping with glee.
Then a burly African-American boy grabbed Dagohoy and strangled him, about to give a fistful to a frightened Dagohoy.
Then an Asian boy stood up and shouted, "Hey easy on him. I'M A FILIPINO!"
Dagohoy then blurted out before he got socked out, "Fernando Poe, Jr. Manila , January 2004!!!"
Esther- ..
- Posts : 514
Join date : 2010-07-16
Age : 35
Location : Philippines
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
Esther, ang tindi naman nyang si Dagohoy...photographic memory ah
fredms3- .
- Posts : 982
Join date : 2010-07-22
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
fredms3 wrote:Esther, ang tindi naman nyang si Dagohoy...photographic memory ah
it was sent to me on an email luma na wala kasi akong joke. But I like the name Dagohoy ha ha
Esther- ..
- Posts : 514
Join date : 2010-07-16
Age : 35
Location : Philippines
Re: Jokes Naman Tayo - Pampa Relax
Di ko kinaya yun ah. Haha
miss_terry- .
- Posts : 458
Join date : 2010-07-15
Age : 33
Location : Batangas
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